List of Things I said I would Never do Before Becoming a Mom

Let’s face it, before we have kids we think that life is all rainbows and butterflies. We have this wonderful fantasy of being the perfect mother. Then real life takes over and all of our preconceived ideas and wishes are out the window.

Here is a list of things I said I would never do before becoming a mom:


  1. I will never give birth with pain killers. After 35 hours of labor, I didn’t care WHAT they gave me.
  2. I will never prop up a bottle in the middle of the night. I had four babies in 5 years. If I hadn’t propped the bottle for baby number five, he would have starved.
  3. I will never use disposable diapers. After using my first cloth diaper and rinsing off the poop bare-handed, diaper rash or not, it was disposable all the way!
  4. I will never pee with the door open. After you become a mother, the bathroom is the last place you will ever find privacy. Modesty and alone time are serious things of the past.
  5. I will never love anyone more than I do my husband. Yep, times change and the dog I said I would never have, has become the love of my life.
  6. I will never let my children sleep with me. After my husband started traveling, it was me that didn’t want to sleep alone (not my kids). I bought a bed large enough so there would always be a little one (or two) cuddled up next to me.
  7. Tell my partner I wish he could be more like somebody else. When we get married, we have this romantic idea that our mate is the perfect person, well…life and all of its demands have a way of altering our feelings and perceptions.
  8. I will never drive a minivan. I’m not sure how many times I used to say that, but sadly, that is all I have driven for the last twelve years.
  9. I will never be a “soccer mom.” Then I had four boys. Not only did I
    become the soccer mom, I became the track mom, the baseball mom, the
    football mom, the basketball mom, and the lacrosse mom.
  10. I will never watch ANY sports. Embarrassingly enough, not only do I watch sports, I have become “that parent”- you know one you walk away from at sports events because you can’t deal with them shouting and cheering any time her kid scores.
  11. I will never have a “tacky” bumper stick on the back of my car. I am
    now the epitome of the proverbial soccer mom, complete with the ugly
    minivan AND the tacky bumper sticker.
  12. I will never wipe snot off my kids face with my bare hand. Sometimes
    there is just no good way around it!
  13. I will never let my kids eat anything off the floor. I never imagined that I
    would ever get to the point where I allow my kids to eat like a dog.
  14. I will never let my kids eat anything unhealthy. Now I have a kid that
    will not go within fifty feet of anything he even suspects is a vegetable. It’s
    all about the drive- thru and Kraft Mac & Cheese. # survival
  15. I will never swear in front of my kids. Out of fear of being judged, I tell
    people that my kids know “these words” because they heard them from that
    bad kid at school 😉
  16. I will never let my kids have more than 2 hours of screen time. I have
    learned over the years that televisions make the best baby sitters!!!
  17. I will never sound like my mother. Need I say more?

What are some things you said you would NEVER do? I would LOVE to hear
from you. Please leave comments.

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2 thoughts on “List of Things I said I would Never do Before Becoming a Mom

  1. LOL!
    I believe this relates to most mommys.
    Your humor cracks me up. Speaking of “survival” gotta have your humor in the midst of craziness!

    Like

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